I am restless as of now. The sky lends the gentlest hues and the hills glow in the way only the NC highlands can after a fresh rain. Healing rain. Jesus rain: Ye shall thirst no more.
Yesterday, and today, I have nowhere to go. No stress upon where I shall lay my head come day-fall. Life has been a seamless sway between rambunctious get-up-and-go joy and cool, contemplative contentment, deep and gently roaring as the mountain stream. I had a moment of quiet pondering and reading at a churchyard, waiting for the rain. I placed a mixture of oats in my canister of water and happily ate as I sat by the creek, so happy, so grateful for my lot. So happy with so little (grains for meal and the woods for a bed) you might say? Rather, how to feel sad with so much?! I just relaxed then as the rain came down, back under shelter, and drifted off to sleep. I awoke to the sun, and returned to the stream, now glittering, reflecting the state of my soul. I thanked God for all that was mine. That evening, as the sun sank lower behind the hills, the after-rain fog grew more lush and beautiful in the dusky distance, and thousands of fireflies delicately lit up the meadow. These moisture-loving creatures created the same lovely effect as my nights in a canyon in central Utah: the cool, icy moonlight sent down upon the snow-covered crests; a twinkling, effervescent kind of light dancing in my eyes
I have found that this year, so far, has brought me to my knees in tears. . . expressing utmost gratitude, those tears being ones of joy! More than ever before, I seem to be living in the eternal now. I hope for the future, I glory in the past, but everything I have right now is exactly what I need, and what more is there than that?? My deepest thanks to all who have in recent times helped me to live in the present with their love and nature-like quiet kindness. I close with the words a favorite vagabond of mine:
When the storm clouds began to abate, I dismounted and sauntered down through the calming woods. The storm-tones died away, and, turning toward the east, I beheld the countless hosts of forests hushed and tranquil, towering above one another on the slopes of the hills like a devout audience. The setting sun filled them with amber light, and seemed to say, while they listened, "My peace I give unto you." - John MuirI am doomed to share it all. Yet, at the same time, I cannot. One must obtain these blessings for oneself. Some things can only come as like father to son. It has to be felt with the open heart. I felt much like Everett Reuss in his torture of being unable to share the beauties of this world and how it affects me so. I also felt like him in this regard:
I have been feeling so happy and filled to overflowing with the beauty of life, that I felt I must write to you. It is all a golden dream, with mysterious, high, rushing winds leaning down to caress me, and perfect colors flowing before my eyes. Time and the need of time have ceased entirely. A gentle, dreamy haze fills my soul, the rustling of the aspens lulls my senses, and the surpassing beauty and perfection of everything fills me with quiet joy and a deep pervading love for my world.In all this and before this, I have felt my world change. My bicycle rides up and down Shope Rd the past few weeks had me marveling at the gentleness and soft kindness of this land. Recently I began feeling the vast life-energy pouring into me, like a golden liquid flowing about me, as I listened to the birds in my meditation session, being aware of their life-force and feeling short swellings of joy upon each chirping-song. Yesterday an ant crawling in my hair was received, in my well-rested state, by a welcoming "hello, little friend," feeling him with a certain kindness and not agitation, as if my acknowledgement of divinity, and appreciation, and respect is expanding to all lifeforms, for certainly our Master reveres and enjoys all of His creations.
Yesterday, and today, I have nowhere to go. No stress upon where I shall lay my head come day-fall. Life has been a seamless sway between rambunctious get-up-and-go joy and cool, contemplative contentment, deep and gently roaring as the mountain stream. I had a moment of quiet pondering and reading at a churchyard, waiting for the rain. I placed a mixture of oats in my canister of water and happily ate as I sat by the creek, so happy, so grateful for my lot. So happy with so little (grains for meal and the woods for a bed) you might say? Rather, how to feel sad with so much?! I just relaxed then as the rain came down, back under shelter, and drifted off to sleep. I awoke to the sun, and returned to the stream, now glittering, reflecting the state of my soul. I thanked God for all that was mine. That evening, as the sun sank lower behind the hills, the after-rain fog grew more lush and beautiful in the dusky distance, and thousands of fireflies delicately lit up the meadow. These moisture-loving creatures created the same lovely effect as my nights in a canyon in central Utah: the cool, icy moonlight sent down upon the snow-covered crests; a twinkling, effervescent kind of light dancing in my eyes
I have found that this year, so far, has brought me to my knees in tears. . . expressing utmost gratitude, those tears being ones of joy! More than ever before, I seem to be living in the eternal now. I hope for the future, I glory in the past, but everything I have right now is exactly what I need, and what more is there than that?? My deepest thanks to all who have in recent times helped me to live in the present with their love and nature-like quiet kindness. I close with the words a favorite vagabond of mine:
Here, I seem to be in my element. . .More than ever before, I have succeeded in stopping the clock. I need no timepiece, knowing that now is the time to live. ~Everett Reuss~
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